Fag Ash Lil, that’s what my mum would call me whenever she saw me smoking. To say she’s ‘a bit pleased’ about the recent ban would be to call Johnny Depp ‘a bit handsome’. She hates smokers.

Some of us however have been embroiled in a magical love affair with the lowly cigarette for many years – they are our ‘bit on the side’ teasing us with their illicit charms; our constant companion never letting us down when we need them; and in many ways they are also our nemesis, drawing us back in with their evil powers no matter how hard we try to banish them.

Despite being a smoker I am actually very much on the side of the ban. Firstly, I can easily imagine just how vile it is to put up with the disgusting stench if you don’t smoke. Secondly I genuinely think this will help me finally give up my dirty little habit. And thirdly, we have all been given a brand new flirting opportunity! Marvellous!

We no longer have a bar full of random strangers but instead several little groups with a shared sense of camaraderie as they are forced to huddle together outside. It’s that very British feel of being ‘in it together’ and so, marvellously, people are talking to each other. Complete strangers are striking up conversation along with their ciggy! It’s brilliant.

Well of course it helps that there is a common topic of chat to ease the situation along – having a good old whinge about the nanny state and debating how long it will be until the Government also ban drinking and talking in pubs is a great way to show common interest.

The other fantastic thing is that the very scary prospect of going over to a group of people in order to flirt with just one person is also removed. Many people are ‘nipping out for a fag’ on their own thus giving potential flirtees a reason to pop outside too, so the usual assault course of ugly mates and possible boyfriends that one must overcome before reaching your goal is no longer a necessary task.

So Mr Brown and chums – no, I don’t like being told what to do and no, I don’t think British pub culture will ever be the same again, but, if the truth be told, your ban really has made it a damn sight easier for girls and boys to enjoy a mighty fine flirt of a Saturday night and, my dear friends, this is one lifelong addiction I shall never stamp out.

http://www.flirtomatic.com/DirtyToy91

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