Boys and girls are really quite different. Girls, for example, remove hair from their bodies with vigilant fervour, in contrast boys consider showing off random and lengthy body hair a legitimate pastime. Girls choose underwear that best displays their assets and joys therein. Boys couldn’t give a toss if the skid-marks have been there since 1994….

Ok so these are slight generalisations but in the main there are some pretty standard differences between the sexes. The one that seems to be cropping up time and time again is young men’s obsession with jiggery-pokery – we all enjoy the regular pleasures of Mr Sausage, no debating that, but boys can sometimes place a one-off indulgent portion over and above the virtues of a potential relationship.

Last week I went to a cracking party with some friends, one of the guys who joined us was a friend of a friend who I’ve met a couple of times before and always got on quite well with (and if I’m truthful always fancied a bit!) but in the past he’d always been attached. However, as if by magic, he’d just dumped the troglodyte girlfriend and was free as a bird. WOO HOO.

So as the night went on we had some chats and some flirts and things were going quite well. It seemed that he had been keen on me for a little while and the way he was talking he had definitely been thinking about me. He kept bringing the conversation round to how interesting/funny/clever/beautiful he thought I was (yeh yeh he’d had a few drinks!) and how he wanted to spend more time with me. Super, smashing, great.

Heady with romance (and tequila) I allowed him to walk me home. As we stood at my front door he leant in, I leant in too and we had a beautiful kiss that seemed to never end….

But then, as we stood there gazing into each other’s eyes, what did he do, the idiot. He asked if he could come in and stay the night! What a way to ruin it. Not only that but when I said “No. I’d like to take it slow because I actually rather like you” he spent the next twenty minutes trying to convince me of the reasons why I should let him in to ‘unsheathe his sword’. All the pillock succeeded in doing was negating every beautiful, romantic and (what I assumed to be) genuine word that had come before it. So I went from being uber-excited about this possible new romance, to disappointed and really rather angry.

Two things boys. Firstly, if you fancy a girl for nooky purposes only don’t give them a load of old flannel about your ‘heart felt affection’, we ain’t morons, you’ll just anger us. And secondly, if you actually like her, don’t ask to see her tupence on the first date! You’ll ruin it.

To conclude, you have two heads, make sure you’re using the correct one with which to think.

http://www.flirtomatic.com/DirtyToy91

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