Are you a ‘quantity’ or a ‘quality’ type of person? Would you prefer to have an endless stream of useless boyfriends – some of them perhaps sporting an abundance of earwax or an unfortunate penchant for pigeon fancying – rather than spend time being single? Or are you the sort who will happily dump a potential new suitor at the first whiff of a personality defect or hairy toe?

I have to say I fall into the latter category. I am quite happy being single and actually enjoy the process of meeting new people – albeit only for one or two dates. I don’t see the point of wasting my time with some guy who only reaches the decidedly un-dizzying heights of ‘hhhmmm average’ when I could be at home with a king-sized mars bar, a hot bath and my secret Steve MacDonald fantasy.

I do have chums however who don’t seem to be able to spend a single moment of their lives without some poor excuse for a man in tow. The second one guy is off the scene they are introducing me to another. And I must say, it makes it hugely tricky when they ask the inevitable question “So, what do you think of my new chap?”

What you want to say is “He looks like one of those weirdo X-Factor rejects and his personality is akin to Hitler – without the artistic ‘soft side’”. But of course you can’t. It’s just too rude. You have to set your pants on fire instead. “Yes”. You say. “He’s ummm, very pleasant and what a very unique dress sense he has, I’m sure double denim is on the very cusp of coming back into style!”

I do wish people could be happier in their own skin. Having a partner is all well and good, but you are never going to meet someone fantastic until you are comfortable with yourself. It’s an old saying, but it’s true. Don’t misunderstand me, I love that people constantly flirt and date, that’s never a bad thing. But why not spend a bit of time flirting with yourself, finding out your own best qualities and entertaining yourself. That way, when you find yourself suddenly single, you won’t feel compelled to accept a date with the local oddball when he offers to take you grave robbing – and more importantly than that you won’t inflict these vile creatures on your perfectly normal friends. They really don’t deserve it (least of all me, so friends of mine please take note, if you’re feeling desperate and start dating one of your usual morons, keep him a safe distance from yours truly, I simply can’t be polite to these crap-bags for one more minute!).

http://www.flirtomatic.com/DirtyToy91

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