When I was a wee thing, running around the playground with scabs on my knees and pigtails in my hair, I would kick boys in the shins. I would kick them quite hard. Often leaving a bruise.

But I was no bully, heaven forefend! No no, my violence was bourn of affection.

We’ve all done it, had a little crush on a boy or girl and rather than go over to say “hello, I think you’re nice” you run over and pull their trousers to their ankles revealing a skiddy pair of Spiderman undercrackers for the whole world to see.

Most people grow out of this unpleasant practice when they become an adult; they turn to chat up lines and flattery as tactics. But is that really such a good idea?

Personally, I’m not very good at accepting compliments, I turn rosy red and stutter a polite thanks. It always leaves me feeling shy and is a sure conversation stopper. But, were there to be a bit of banter – a joke about my ridiculously curly hair, or a gag about my ‘local’ accent – I’m quick to get involved and am instantly drawn in.

Piss-taking is part of everyday life – with your friends, your colleagues, and (if they’re anything like mine!) your family too. So how come we don’t use this as a flirting technique more often? Perhaps it’s because we feel we should be on our best behaviour when trying to impress…..?

Screw that lads!

If you’ve spent the last hour complimenting a girl on the delicious underside curve of her left breast, or repeatedly stated astonishment at her vast knowledge of ginger-nut recipes, but still you’re getting nowhere, try changing tact – ask her whether Stevie Wonder cut her hair, or if pink leggings are really such a good idea at her age! This is guaranteed to get a reaction, I can’t promise it’ll be the one you are after, but you’ll get one all the same. After all, if the original method wasn’t working then what have you got to lose – sure, you might get a swift slap in the chops, but if you manage to pull it off the slap you receive might be altogether more exciting!

http://www.flirtomatic.com/DirtyToy91

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