Here we are once more, knee-deep in office party season. In many ways I believe it could be God’s way of making us flirt! Perhaps, 2000 years ago, the Baby Jesus was born and so they had a big party to celebrate his birth. Too much mead was consumed and before the Angel Gabriel could stop him, Joseph had hopped onto the photocopier and printed 50 copies of his spotty buttocks – and lo, the Office Party was born…..

Nah, perhaps not!

It is of course a wonderful time of year for flirting. Everyone gets together over a few bevies. People dress in their best bib and tucker and you can’t walk two yards without running into a mistletoe bush. What more could a flirt-fan want!

You’ve gotta be careful of course because as well as having all the elements for a mighty fine flirt served up to you on a plate, these very same elements tend to go hand-in-hand with making a right tit of yourself. As I, on many occasion, have found out.

Here’s a little run-down of my last few office parties.

2004 – I got up on stage to sing Dolly Parton’s ’9-5′ as my ‘turn’ and being a little drunk and quite hormonal, I promptly burst into tears when I spotted the chap I’d been having a small fling with caressing the buttocks of a girl twice as pretty as me.

2005 – A young man I’d been flirting with furiously over the past few months was showing me some well-deserved attention, so I reciprocated by undertaking a prolonged groping session with his nether. He didn’t seem to mind, Heavens no. But the rest of the company who were witness to the whole event were rather more distressed.

2006 – I’d been dancing outrageously all night long and I’d reached the stage when I was convinced I was Beyonce’s more talented sister – my hips were swivelling my feet were aflame! So as the last track of the night kicked in I thought that the only way to suitably finish off the night would be to do the Dirty Dancing lift. No prizes for guessing how it ended. Yep, that’s right, I catapulted towards the floor like an Olympic diver, smashed 3 teeth and broke my nose. Not so very attractive.

I actually have my office party on this very night, so lets hope it’s more ‘mistletoe and wine’ than a stuffed turkey.

I shall report back next week my flirtoholic friends and if you’ve got any advice on how I can avoid the debacles of the last few years, please please let me know.

http://www.flirtomatic.com/DirtyToy91

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