Dealing with your 9-5 job. Looking after your home. Seeing your mates. – all of this bananarama takes enough time out of your life as it is, but bring a new boy into the picture and suddenly you can barely find the time to brush your teeth between meals!

It’s such a palaver to get yourself organized during those first few dating months.

To start with you have to find extra days in the week to see said new boy – if you are any sort of decent human being then you ensure you don’t drop your friends at the merest sniff of a sausage. Instead, you start ditching all those dull, but necessary, nights you were going to spend hand-washing your delicates or defrosting the freezer – within a month you’re balancing dirty dishes on the ironing board, your fridge holds nowt but squirty cream and you feel like you’ve regressed back to student-dom.

Then you have to become super-silky-skilled in the office. This is to make room for all the naughty little texts and emails you want to send him. Nothing perks up an afternoon of spreadsheet management like a bit of saucy email banter. Mmm lovely. Of course you will now be using your lunch hour to research date locations and think of cheeky little games you can play at the weekend – if you’re stuck by the way, go with ‘Naked Twister’, really, you can’t go wrong.

And as for the preening! Every part of your body needs to be waxed down to the smoothest of all surfaces. Not an inch of stubble can appear. Your underwear needs to be foxy enough to cope with the sudden and unexpected removal of clothing at any time. And whereas usually you would happily reapply coat-over-coat of day old mascara, one atop the other until you look like the council have decided to tarmac your eyelids, you now have to be fresh faced, glowing and perfectly made up at all times. Oh the dullness of it all.

So you see in many ways managing your life when a new boy comes into it is a little like taking on an extra job – except without the pay. Of course you could ask him to cough up a few quid to compensate for the trickiness he brings, but I think that might be known as something altogether more sinister and inappropriate. I’d grin and bare it and stick to accepting the chocolates and flowers as reward if I were you!

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