Thousands of years ago a beardy man with some bloody good ideas went and got himself nailed to a cross. He did this in order to atone for all the dumbass stuff us bunch of idiots do. Or so the story goes…

And so every Easter we buy each other chocolate eggs in order to acknowledge this sacrifice.

Hang on a minute. Let’s think about this for a second, Jesus had to endure a slow painful death, strung up on a couple of planks of wood…and we repay him by scoffing a load of chocolate. It hardly seems like a fair exchange!

So why not actually show you appreciate the gruesome end to which he so readily gave Himself and, come Easter Sunday, head down to church. Well once a year won’t kill you will it?

In fact, even if you don’t believe in the ‘greatest story ever told’ church may make an interesting change of scenery for your flirtations.

Ok so church isn’t exactly well known for being a hotbed of sexual tension – which is fair enough when for the most part we believe it to be full of grannies and men with beards and bad breath. BUT I think we are missing a trick here. The negative press ‘godbotherers’ get is doubtless unwarranted. There are all sorts of interesting and young people who spend their Sundays in church. And just imagine all the fun you could have livening up a slightly dull sermon by winking cheekily over your hymnbook at the fit guy in the next pew.

Churches also tend to have lots of groups and events that can be good to get involved in if you have moved to a new area or are stuck for fresh and random things to do. Always friendly people, these chaps will be over the frickin’ moon to see a new face. If you don’t happen to agree with the religious thinking it’s a good place to discuss the ins and outs of your opinions.

There is nothing like a good debate to get the emotions flowing. And once you have emotion with a person – be it positive or negative – you are on a surefire journey toward flirthood. Bantering your thoughts back and forth stimulates the brain and when you find someone who gets your brain juices going the erhem ‘other’ juices are seldom far behind!

So you see, suggesting church as a new place to find flirtatious fun may seem a bit odd to begin with, but if the old staples – the pub, the office, mates of mates – aren’t working for you, then this may be an exciting new option. Fresh and engaging conversation, people with passion in their hearts and even a bit of a sing song. I mean really, what more do you want……?

What’s that you say? A biscuit and a drop of wine? It sounds to me like all your prayers have been answered!

Happy Easter chaps. Whatever you do, enjoy it.

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