With all the pomp and fanfare of a fairy tale Queen walking amongst her subjects, her majesty ‘The Sun’ has decided to grace us with her presence. Halle-frickin-lulah!

It feels like my toes have been frozen blue for centuries and finally they are beginning to defrost. The only thing that’s blue around here is the glorious sky and my sun-deprived thighs.

The most wondrous thing about these first few days of sunshine is that the whole world seems to jump up and down in celebration. We take to the beaches and parks in masses, like a swell of zombies, arms outstretched we follow the leader, slowly chanting, … “must…get…sunburn”. It’s bizarre, but marvelous.

Nothing is a problem when the sun is shining. The crowds don’t bother us, getting out of bed is less of a chore and suddenly all is right with the world. It’s a minor miracle. Of course this cheeriness only lasts until the hay fever knocks us all out like plague victims or indeed mid July arrives and it’s so hot we’re ready to strangle each other with our own bikini bottoms.

This is why these first few days are the perfect time to take advantage of the smiling hoards. Flirt with a person who is already in a great mood and half your job is already done. They’re not likely to look up at you from beneath their winter scarf and eye you with suspicion, or worse, completely ignore you. They will be happy and ready to chat and, even if you don’t score, you are unlikely to get an entirely negative reaction.

Psychologically this time of year works well too. Charming a potential flirtee in the summer sun creates an association that lasts long after the sun goes down. Each time they think of you they will automatically conjure up the happy feelings of the sunny day. You are forevermore linked in their mind as someone who makes them feel good. This is no doubt why holiday romances are so amazing in Benidorm but instantly fall flat the second you arrive back in Bolton.

If you’re stuck for an ‘opener’ when wandering around the park I’ve got a corking idea – utilize the frozen dairy facilities, i.e. the ice-cream van. After all girls, asking hot boys to lick our Strawberry Mivvies is one of life’s greatest pleasures.

And of course if the boy in question declines you can always enjoy a good lick without him, pleasuring yourself, one might say….

Be Sociable, Share!

•