Yep, you got it; Halloween is here once more to hit us square on the snoz.

It’s fair to say this is not a day usually associated with snog-a-thons or cuddle-o-grams, but you know me, if there’s a way to turn something into a flirtfest then I’m the bird to do it.

“And how shall you do this” I hear you cry!

Well I reckon a day when we get to legitimately dress up like freaks is a day that the uglytrons amongst us should savor and exploit to full advantage.

If you’ve got a face like a bag of smashed crabs ‘making the best of what you’ve got’ can require nothing short of an entire Boots make-up counter. So, don’t make the best of it – make the worst….

If you are unlucky enough to have a hooked nose and a chin full of warts, stick a pointed hat on your bonce – shazam, you’ve got a fantastic witch’s outfit. The best of it being that the hot guys may, for once, look in your direction – well they’ll assume that you’re just wearing a very slick mask and underneath it your features are a shining beacon of beauty. Ha!

Of course come November 1st the new love of your life is going to come face to face with the reality of your hideousness. But perhaps, just perhaps, the old adage ‘it’s what’s on the inside that counts’ may have kicked in and you’ll have had such a cracking time together that the hideousness of your mush will pale in significance. Fantastic.

Imagine if we could get all the unfortunate looking people to get on board with this idea. Each and every cross-eyed, green-skinned, pointy-eared ugly duckling would take the opportunity to head out and display their demonic features in the hope of finding fun.

Halloween will no longer be about false ghoulishness. Oh no, it’ll be the time of year when all the real life monsters and hatchet-faced freaks finally find love.

What a truly wonderful world that would be! So join me my precious ugly ones, and may this be the start of a new Halloween dawn!

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