Is there anything more deliciously amusing than springing someone’s naughty little secret? Jokes about winkles and boobs are funny, sure, but unexpectedly stumbling across a couple engaged in an undercover tryst is too hilarious for words. I know you agree.

So you can imagine the smirk that grew across my mush when I bumped into two colleagues sharing a romantic meal last Saturday…

What’s that you say? Perfectly innocent? Bah, as if!

To start it’s a Saturday night, and these two cheeky monkeys are ‘colleagues,’ who don’t even work in the same department, so the old ‘working dinner’ excuse is a definite no-go. And even if this doesn’t convince you they were up to inappropriate shenanigans then his response most definitely will….

The very second I stepped through the door my peepers befell them – the penny dropped, the alarm bells rang and the entire scenario clicked into place (making for a somewhat noisy entrance) and I stood stop still in the doorway, staring at them.

Julia looked up and of course, instantly spotted me. The smile froze on her face.

I heard Mark said, “what’s wrong Honeybee” and he gently took her hand (God how hard it was not to drop, on the spot, to my knees and guffaw with laughter).

Julia nodded towards me and Mark turned around….

It wasn’t my knees but his jaw that hit the floor, as his face burned crimson with embarrassment.

Then the keraaazeee chap did something so ridiculous my brain nearly disintegrated in shock!

He casually stood up, turned back to Julia, shook the hand he had, only moments ago so tenderly took, and said “well how very lovely to run into you so unexpectedly, I’m sorry for interrupting your meal and I look forward to seeing you on Monday”, picked up his coat and left.

Julia just sat there, agog.

Well of course I didn’t have a worms clue where to look. The daft fool had failed to clock that by pretending it had just been a passing ‘hello’ the poor old fruit had to sit there all on her onesees, for the rest of the evening, as if she intended to dine alone…with two plates of food, like a big greedy chub-monster.

Dumb. Beyond comprehension.

As you can imagine, on the inside I was wetting my knickers to pieces. But at the same time I felt so sorry for the unfortunate gal I just nodded a quick ‘hello’ in her direction and requested a table at the other end of the restaurant – allowing her to get up and leave discretely with a smidge (and only a smidge) of her dignity in tact. Ain’t I nice.

I feel duty bound to advise all of you that have got a secret and don’t want to be caught, not to be daft enough to venture out into a place you may be eyeballed – but at the same time I don’t, because catching you at it is just too damned funny. Fools.

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