Crikey, those first few dates with someone new are a tricky old business, wouldn’t you agree? Tummy spinning like a squashed beetle on a bicycle wheel, starfish twitching so hard it could pick up match sticks, I almost wonder why we bother…almost.

It’s bad enough at the best of times, but what about when the Almighty God of Flirt throws up a disaster that seems certain to put the kibosh on things –a bad case of wind, a huge undetected bogie, chiffy armpits – any of these things, that a few months into a relationship wouldn’t matter a bean, can be a real deal breaker during those first few weeks….

My friend Abby is currently in a ‘new date scenario’ so, when a hung-over stylist cut her hair that gave her the look of Michael Jackson circa 1982 she was not, to put it mildly, best pleased.

Once she’d calmed down she realised that the haircut would take several weeks to grow out, so postponing the next few dates simply would not work, there was nowt to do but disguise her crazy bonce. So she got inventive. She told her man that she’d developed an interest in riding horses…. and fancy dress parties…. and motorcycling. Each and every date they had for the next month involved headgear of some description. The clever old stick pulled it off; he never suspected a thing – although I think even I may have questioned her sudden but brief penchant for wearing a balaclava to bed!

Katie, another ‘new dater’ had a more short-term, yet no less distressing, issue with a spot of gigantic proportions, right in the middle of her forehead. I seem to have been blessed with chums of a creative nature because like Abby, Katie did not cancel her date. Heavens no. She simply stuck a plaster over the offending eruption and told her man she was following the style of a new hip-hop artist who always donned a small blue catering plaster on his face – she even went so far as to take the mickey out of him for not recognising the name of this completely fictional star!

There’s no doubt about it, dating is a minefield of dangers, but if you’re thrown a sticky situation and you’re tempted to cancel – stop. Wind up the old noggin and employ your best inventive skills to get around it. Not only will it keep your dates on track, but once you get into full relationship territory, it’ll give you a cracking story to tell.

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