So now, as we finally emerge, with painfully pale skin and wide blinking eyes, from our wintry hibernation, we welcome the sunshine back into our lives…. only to have the damn thing spit right back in our face!

Just when we begin to get all excited in our tummy about the summer, our nasal passages constrict, our peepers weep and it’s all we can do to stop ourselves sneezing our very socks off.

It’s the return of …dah dah dahhhh….hay-fever! Grrrr.

Now I have heard some rum old cures in my time – rub a bee’s wing onto the sole of your shoes, attach a piece of tree bark to your nipple with a length of woven witch hair, collect a snail’s tears and drink them in your cocoa – but this most recent one really takes the biscuit.

Apparently. Allegedly. Supposedly…sex, yes, sex (!) is a relief for hay-fever sufferers. Not all sufferers however, ho-no, MALE sufferers only.

What a load of old twaddle.

Of course they’ve tried to back this up with ‘facts’.

‘Experts’ reckon that when a man climaxes the nervous system constricts blood vessels and this, in turn, frees the airways. Poppycock.

It’s merely another daft reason to get us ladies to part with our under-crackers and I, for one, shan’t be falling for it. After all consider just how outright disgusting hay-fever filled jiggery-pokery would be. His nose, dripping with strings of endless snot onto your horrified face, red bulging eyes peering down at you like a demented demon, sneeze upon sneeze interrupting the muffled sounds of ‘oh baby, oh baby’. Nope, no good at all.

And frankly, if it’s all about the climax, then I don’t see why they can’t relieve themselves (as it were!) by their own means.

So ladies, if your chap whips this little nugget out as a potential cure then my advice would be to tell him to take the bucket load of tissues he’s been using on his snoz, head to the bathroom and put this cure into practice by himself – unless of course you fancy writhing around covered in phlegm – and there’s nothing to say you don’t, I’m proud to say you Flirto lot are an open-minded bunch!

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