Bonce feel like it’s been squashed between the buttocks of a rampant rhino?
Eyeballs reduced to the size of a wasp’s nipple?
Tongue feel like the aforementioned rhino has …

Queen of the loudmouths.
Empress of Indiscretionville.
A right gobby git.
Pick any one of those three descriptions, point in my direction and you’d win a weeks caravanning in Weston–Super–Mare for …

Bleary-eyed and sobbing with snot running down her chin in great mucus rivulets, you sit and listen as your chum recounts, through the tearful snorts, her latest disastrous date.
A …

“I ate a Twirl, and I liked it. Hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”
All the time I was happily singing along, but thinking…‘well, what sort of boyfriend would complain about …

Anyone’s peepers spy this little article a few weeks back?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8073432.stm
In case it happened to pass you by at the time and you’re too busy picking your feet right now to …