Oh Flirtomatic. My love. My lifeline. The reason for my very existence! I’m back! Nuzzling once more in the safety of your proud bosoms. What a feeling! Smashing.
Now then my …
Leanne’s ex-boyfriend, Simon, sets my loins aflame. His face is a treat for the eyeballs and his stature a joy to behold. The slight bluebottle in the ointment is of …
When I was a mere stripling I convinced my little brother that he wasn’t actually one of ‘us’ and that my Mum had shoplifted him from a PoundShop. He cried …
Ever nipped out of your back door just as the mountain of jelly, prepared for your niece’s birthday, reacts with your Dad’s fungal foot cream and explodes all over your …
If ever a brain has been completely addled by too much flirting, it’s mine. It needs to pack it’s flip-flops, cancel the milk and go for a holiday someplace that …
Ladies, ever been leered at by a man in his late 40’s who believes that just because his coconut is still populated with thick, wavy locks he is the owner …
What with all these ghouls and goblins tripping about the place at the moment I found myself inspired to have a bash at setting up my mate Dave.
Dave, Heaven …
1. Rifling through your flatmate’s underpants drawer.
2. Softly whispering confessions of adoration to a decidedly large root vegetable.
3. Watching a documentary on the mating habits of the conga eel with …
1. Fresh underpants everyday.
2. Avoid eating Scampi ‘n’ Lemon Nik Naks in respectable company.
3.Never stay on a bad date longer than necessary.
These, my flirtatious young prunes, are rules to live …
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