Yours truly,

Incestuously inclined, Herts.

Dear ‘Incestuously Inclined’, it was touch and go for a moment but I have just about managed to hold down my scrambled eggs, so here is my advice. Put all this Grandmother nonsense out of your mind and throw your lustful zest into Flirtomatic. We have a delightful range of ladies, including those who spend their Thursday mornings in the post office queuing to collect their pensions. Love should never be bound by age differences – however it should be bound by the confines of the legal system. My advice would be to look for a flirt-mate who resembles your Grandmother and lavish wild attention upon her. You’ll soon forget all about the swing of your Grandmothers sexy little arthritic hips. However if this fails to work and the attraction between you and your Grandmother really is that strong all I can advise is that you keep any tongue action out of eyesight, for I fear the vision of it may strike others blind.”

If you’ve got a personal problem and you don’t know where to turn, then look no further. Dear Dolly, the world renowned Agony Aunt, is here to help. Send your problems, whatever they may be, to flirtomatic@live.com

Is your penchant for pirate costumes causing problems on dates?

If you’ve got a personal problem and you don’t know where to turn, then look no further. Dear Dolly, the world renowned Agony Aunt, is here to help. Send your problems, whatever they may be, to flirtomatic@live.com and Dear Dolly will offer up her advice and your woes will disappear as swiftly as the affections of a Gary Glitter fan.